With apologies to Edward Lear
Marshall’s Madness (Seneca Rocks)
Cried Sarah, "I'm feeling right gripped!",
As her toe, from a jam, slowly slipped.
"This source of rope drag
Must be a bad zag
Produced by that zig I last clipped." Maura Slack
Connecticut Cloudburst (Ragged Mountain)
On the lead, when deluged from the sky,
Sarah feared she was destined to die.
All heard her last shout:
"Be sure to hang out
My slings and my Lycra to dry!" Paul Nylon
Bonnie’s Roof, 2nd Pitch (‘Gunks)
As Bill traversed out past the pin
He announced, with a sickening grin,
"It's fifty years old
And I can't reach the hold;
Please notify my next of kin!" A. Rusty Trifle
Cathedral Concentration (New Hampshire)
Sarah found the protection most thin.
But, at last, an RP would slip in.
With her mind thus at ease
The crux seemed a breeze
'Til she noticed she'd failed to clip in! Hannah Solo
On the Demise of the Gendarme (Seneca Rocks, four weeks before it fell)
Believing that sentry ill-starred,
They crept so's to mount it un-jarred.
No aeon knows when...
But had it failed then
'T would surely have caught them off guard! Virginia West
Went a bold mountain pilot named Walling
To the Tetons to practice his calling.
Rolled edgewise in flight,
Rit shot the Gunsight
By wielding his stick without stalling. B. Twain Owen-Grand
Virgin Ascent (Kansas City, MO)
When she found that the line had a lack
Of ascent Margaret shouldered her rack,
Donned her stealth rubber boot,
And jammed up the route
Which thenceforth became "Margaret's Crack". Primo Ascenza
Sleight of Foot
The friction climber climbs
Where angels won't.
Now you see him climbing...
Now you don't. Dave Bernays
Rock to Ice
He considered bold climbing his forte,
Until he tried cragging up norte.
All routes now blue-icy;
Protection way dicey.
Thus learned him the meaning of sporte. Sarah Waddell
Hard Hat Manque
As she rapped off the end of her cord,
Sarah, helmetless, laughed as she soared:
"As I land upside down,
Without my Joe Brown"
They'll say "Proof that she's out of her gourd." Sarah Waddell
"On belay!" shouts Dad with a grin.
"Climbing,", say I with chagrin.
"This sure ain't no 'Trifle',
(much more like the Eiffel).
Why can't I switch with my twin?" Matt Atkinson
Some eighty-five feet in the air;
A snake falls into my hair.
Each handhold I seek,
Provokes a new "Eek!"
In each crevice a millipede's lair. Meg Atkinson
"Oh twin," says you "we must switch."
"How's about you, and not I, climb this pitch?"
"Who, me?" I reply.
"That pitch is too high!"
"Let elder to rope become hitched." Gemini